What Not To Say To The Unemployed Post-Grad.

I've lost count of how long it's been since graduation. Sike, it's been 1 year, 3 months and 10 days. 

Prior to graduation, I knew the state of the job market (although, I didn't anticipate it would take this long...), so I had a backup plan. I thought often about my plan b, as it was actually my dream job. It was a job I knew I was qualified for and I was even assured by those that knew about it that I would get it. After spending a month working on the application and submitting my resume, I was informed two weeks later that while I was "a strong candidate" and that my application was "extremely impressive," I was not an exact match.

I absolutely dread hearing this from employers. Not because I can't take rejection (nothing like job hunting to toughen you up!), but because on the rare occasion that I do hear back from an employer, this is what they always say and to this day, I still have no idea what it means exactly.

But the words that I dread the most are the ones from friends/family/strangers. The ones that think they know it all and feel the need to offer up their unsolicited "advice." I talk open and freely about post-grad life when I'm ready (like today!), but there are times and certain people, that make it a conversation I much prefer not to have.

Despite all that, the last few months have given me a grand list of commentary, some of them real gems. Here are some of my favorites.

What NOT to Say (or Do) to the Un/Underemployed Post-Grad In Your Life.

Did you really just say that? (gif via realitytvgifs.com)

 "You'll get a job one of these days." 

Well, I sure hope so! I'd hate to think I spent all that time and money going to school for nothing.

"You should already have a job with that degree!"
I should, yet here we are.

"Don't be upset. You're not the only one." 

Given that I was not the only person to graduate in 2012 NO. DUH! I am well aware that there are many others in the same situation, but that does not change the fact that I feel stuck and unsure.  

Do not feel sorry for me.
Given the problems that I could have, I am truly grateful that this all I have to deal with, and I thank God that things are not worse. Save the sentiment for a time when I may really need it. 

"The job market is not that bad!"
Really?

"Are you looking hard enough? Have you tried X,Y or Z?"
Once in a blue moon, someone will suggest something that I have not tried yet. Other than that, I have. Trust me. I've done just about everything but sell my soul.

"So-and-so got a job prior to graduation!"
Good. For. Them.

Do not abandon me.

This has been one of the hardest and weirdest parts of unemployment to deal with. Aren't friends supposed to be there no matter what? Given the fact that things are so uncertain at the moment, unemployment really could happen to anyone.

"In my day..."
I will cut you off Step Brothers-style right there. Just don't.

Do not be afraid to mention it. 
Ironic, huh? The truth is, once you are not insulting me or making empty statements, I don't mind if you ask how I'm doing or how the job search is going.  It's all about the approach, and once you are being genuine, it's all good and greatly appreciated. I promise I won't burst into tears or rip your head off :)

If you are or have been in the same situation, what are/were some of the comments from others that you've had to endure?

Life Post Grad: One Year Later

Then | The best thing about this picture? The guy in the pink shirt in the back.

Today, May the 15th, officially marks one year since graduation. Three hundred and sixty five days. Twelve months. 

Where did the time go?

There was a part of me that was nervous for this day to come. No, actually I was dreading this day. I was scared this day would come and go and I would still be in the same situation: jobless and searching. This fear was accelerated a few weeks ago during my spring cleaning extravaganza when I came across my diploma in my closet and freaked out...a bit. I removed it from the shelf and gave it to my Dad with specific instructions: "Put this away before I burn it."

OF COURSE I would never actually burn my diploma-I worked too hard and went through way too much to get it. But seeing it brought about so many negative emotions. While I have been mostly positive in the last year, any emotion I had felt at some point during the last few months came rushing forward. Frustration from the many rejection letters telling me I'm a completely qualified candidate, but that there are no positions available at the moment. Regret for not doing XYZ during undergrad, even though XYZ was usually impossible. The feeling of failure because at 18 I thought I would graduate, have a job, and be on my way to owning my own business by the time I was 30. (That was one of many life plans. The other involved becoming an MTV VJ...) Then the "comparison anxiety" began. How come friend A has a job and not me? I know her GPA and qualifications were definitely not better than mine. If only had friend B's connections. I probably should have transferred to a bigger school like friend C. On and on and on and on.

Now | GPOY

I'm grateful that as I have gotten older, I've become wiser and know that while my feelings may be warranted, they are usually not true, and don't define me in any way. I'm also grateful that I have such an amazing support system, especially my parents, and friends A, B, and C. More than that, knowing that I am not alone in this situation is definitely a relief. Talking with friends and others that have been through it puts it all into perspective that "Hey,you're not a failure! You're just in the midst of a super crappy job market."

While the current hiring situation is out of my control, one thing I am in control of is my future. This last year has not just made me stronger, but has been one of the greatest learning experiences of my life so far. What I never understood in Accounting and Excel during undergrad (and called hieroglyphics,) is almost second nature to me now. I've become semi-conversational in Italian (parli appena lentamente per favore), I've discovered so many new places in my beautiful city, and I've picked up some fun new hobbies. More importantly I am dreaming bigger and taking things into my own hands. I've started expanding my jewelry locally and on Etsy and I'm 99.99% sure that that venture I briefly mentioned here, is becoming a reality and I am starting my own business.  Does this mean I am completely giving up on the job search? Absolutely not. But am I going to try and pursue a few of my own dreams in the mean time. Absafreakinglutely.

I am happy that with each new day, I can see my vision of where I want to be down the road, and how I want to get there. I don't know what's to come, but I'm excited. I just know that when I look back at this post in a years time I will think, "that was only the beginning."

Life Post-Graduation: Breaking Up the Monotony.

Not being employed five months post-graduation had me in a mood of sorts (hello blogging hiatus…) My professors and parents prior to graduation warned that finding a job would be hard and take time and I knew it would given the current economy, but I didn’t think it would take this much time! I was pretty optimistic in the beginning, but come mid-September into October, I just couldn’t bear it anymore. I was truly feeling depressed.  All I could think was “Why am I still unemployed?!” and have a pity party of sorts.  

I finally came to my senses and to a realization: I am not alone in this situation and this period of unemployment is only temporary. I know I am a qualified candidate and I know the right job will come along eventually. It took a few days to believe it, but I finally did. It’s truly amazing how just a little bit of positive affirmation can turn things around. With a brighter and more positive outlook, I began to see how I could make my situation less miserable and, well, more fun!

After my realizations, it was time to take a close look at my schedule. Having a schedule not just keeps me organized, but gives me a sense of purpose. However, I realized that it was probably causing me more stress than was necessary, as it was a just a little bit too structured. I still (more or less) wake up the same time I did when I was in school and start my day the same way with prayer/meditation and a workout, with the time typically spent at school now replaced with job hunting/research/sending out resumes. While those are all things I need to do daily, what I needed was some more flexibility and spontaneity. Whether it be a trip to the mall, a mani/pedi, or just pinning for fifteen minutes, allowing these things into my daily routine makes me feel more balanced, and even more productive, with the rigidity of my prior schedule gone.

Ultimately, I had to look at my situation in a different light. Sure my main focus and task of each day is job hunting, but one thing I have right now is time. For all those things I’ve been meaning to do, DIYs to try, museums I’ve wanted to visit, books I’ve wanted to read, I can do them now! Who knows when I will have time like this again, so why not make the most of it, right? Since I’ve been meaning to pick back up learning Italian, I finally enrolled in a beginner course at the local community college. The past few weeks have been nothing short of rewarding and fun!

[Clockwise] Keeping Busy:

Practicing Italian.
A beautiful day for a stroll down Fifth Avenue.
Finally got around to this DIY bulletin board! 
When all else fails, a little bit of chocolate never hurts.

For the time being, all I can do is put in the work and effort and continue to be patient and hope for the best. But in the mean time, who says this time can’t be a fun one? Plus, I'll much prefer to save being stressed out for when I actually have a job. I’m hoping I can maintain this outlook going forward and I wish the same for my fellow post-grads!!!

Transitions and Changes

Ever since coming across this quote, it has been my mantra of the week. I never realized how much of a transitional month September is, especially as a recent graduate. It has been weird with some of my friends going back to school, studying abroad, and I'm not. I guess you can say it has finally set in: I am a college graduate. I surely do not miss college and its many syllabi, overpriced textbooks and overbearing professors. Yet, it doesn't change the fact what was a routine for so many years, is no more.  There is one thing I can be sure of, onwards and upwards. Amiright?

Speaking of changes, I've made a few little ones around the blog. I've done away with the Disqus commenting system, and gone back to Blogger's. Also, the blogs gotten a makeover! (Huge thank you to Blair!) What I love most about the new layout is the "share" features at the end of each post. Don't be afraid to pin it, tweet it, or share it on Facebook!!

I have a few super fun things planned in the next coming weeks. Giveaways are always fun right?